Johnny's Papparazzi
by Shadowfang14
Summary: A fic dedicated to my friend who is OBSESSED with Nny


Jess Burks

Johnny stood on the street corner, staring blankly ahead. He suddenly noticed that he was not alone on the street corner. Standing next to him was a dark-skinned girl who appeared to be around 15 or 16, had dark hair, and was wearing 'attitude' glasses. She seemed okay, so Johnny decided to break the silence.

"Um-hi." He said. The girl turned her head slowly, as if unsure how to respond. Then, once she had gotten a good look at Johnny, she turned completely around, a HUGE smile on her face, and Johnny noticed, to his horror, that she was wearing a shirt with 'I 'heart' and a picture of his face.

"Oh, fuck."

We are the crowd

_We're c-coming out_

_Got that flash on it's true_

_Need that picture of you_

_It's so magical_

_We'd be so fantastic oh_

The next thing Nny knew, he was running, full-speed, down the street, with his newly-found fangirl in hot pursuit. He could have sworn that he saw a trail of hearts following the girl as she squealed and ran, her arms outstretched and ready to wrap around him.

Leather and jeans

_We're rock glamorous_

_Not sure what it means_

_But this photo of us_

_It don't have a price_

_Ready for those flashing lights_

_Cause you know that baby I_

Suddenly, Nny stopped in his tracks.

_Wait a minute._ He thought. _What am __**I**__ running for?_ Pulling out his knife, he turned around and stabbed the girl. However, to his shock and horror, the girl just kept on walking slowly towards him like a zombie, her arms outstretched, still wearing that enormous smile. Panicked, Johnny stabbed the girl again and again, but she still kept on inching closer and closer to him, not showing even the slightest sign of pain, even though she was dripping blood down onto the ground.

_What is this girl, a freaking IMMORTAL?_ Johnny thought, terrified beyond words by a mere fangirl. As she was just one inch away from him, Johnny stretched his leg out real far, and ran off, leaving the girl in the dust.

I'm your biggest fan

_I'll follow you until you love me_

_Papa-paparazzi_

_Baby there's no other superstar_

_You know that I'll be_

_Your papa-paparazzi_

_Promise I'll be kind_

_But I won't stop until that boy is mine_

_Baby you'll be famous_

_Chase you down until you love me_

_Papa-paparazzi_

If Nny had thought that he was rid of the crazed girl, he was horribly mistaken. She soon started to turn up EVERYWHERE. One day, he was in a movie theater, watching a slasher flick, when suddenly, she jumped him and proceeded to squeeze the living daylights out of him. Another time, he was stabbing a man to death, and, just as he was finishing, a dark-skinned hand reached up with a cloth and wiped the sweat and blood off his face. He turned around, and gaped in horror as he saw the fangirl who, for some reason, was coated in blood as well. One night, he was eating out at a restaurant, and, before he had even gotten the chance to decide on a drink, a tray was set down in front of him. As Johnny watched in surprise, the lid flew off, and there stood the girl. Beaming, she held up a big cake with the words 'I LUV U!' written in icing. Freaked out, and too pissed for words, Johnny pulled another cake out of nowhere. This one was decorated with the words 'LEAVE ME ALONE!'

I'll be a girl backstage at that show Velvet ropes and guitars

_Yeah 'cause you're my_

_Rockstar in between the sets_

_Eyeliner and cigarettes_

Johnny sat in an auditorium watching a ball game. Suddenly, the screen showed a large image of him, and the girl had her arm looped around him while winking, and making the peace sign. Instinctively, Nny pulled out his knife and threw it, however, the girl, despite her seeming immortality, moved, and a red-headed woman with big boobs was killed instead of her.

Shadow is burnt

_Yellow dance and we turn_

_My lashes are dry_

_Purple teardrops I cry it don't have a price_

_Loving you is cherry pie_

_Cause you know that baby I_

Nny lay on his bed, staring restlessly up at the ceiling, when he suddenly heard a breaking sound. An intruder! Grabbing his knife, (much to the delight of the doughboys and the chagrin of Nailbunny), Nny left his room and started to look around, until he heard a bumping in the closet. He opened it, and found the girl holding a plushie of him in one hand, and a heart-shaped box, which he guessed was full of chocolates, in the other hand. The next second, the girl was punted out of Nny's house like a football, landing butt-first in the street. Just seconds later, her plushie fell into her lap, and the box fell open on her head, spilling chocolates all over her.

I'm your biggest fan

_I'll follow you until you love me_

_Papa-paparazzi_

_Baby there's no other superstar_

_You know that I'll be _

_Your papa-paparazzi_

_Promise I'll be kind_

_But I won't stop until that boy is mine_

_Baby you'll be famous_

_Chase you down until you love me_

_Papa-paparazzi_

Johnny was hanging out with Squee, when suddenly, the boy ripped the skin from his face, revealing it to be a mask, and that it was really the girl, who had somehow managed to fit herself into a Squee disguise. Alarmed, Nny looked behind a bush only to find the real Squee, bound, gagged, and letting out muffled squeals behind the gag. Another time, Nny had been drinking a Slurpee, and threw the empty cup into a nearby trash can, only for the girl to pop out of the garbage, and Johnny ran away as she tried to kiss him. One day, he opened his door to go outside, only to find a bunch of innocent people all tied up, and trying to escape. They were all tied up with a big red ribbon that had a tag labeled 'To /Johnny' on it. At that point, Nny was too pissed off at the girl to kill the victims that she had so kindly brought him, so he just slammed the door.

Real good

_(We're dancing in the studio)_

_Snap snap to_

_(That shit on the radio)_

_Don't stop_

_(For anyone)_

_We're plastic but we still have fun!_

The girl snuck up behind Johnny and spun him around, only to find, to her surprise, that it was a completely different guy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the real Johnny sneaking off. One day, Johnny was looking for his knife, when suddenly he heard a whistle outside. Dreading what he knew was to come, Nny looked outside, and saw the girl, holding _his_ knife, and standing next to a tree that had a heart carved into it, and 'Nny + H.L' inside the heart. Johnny was walking down the street, when suddenly, he passed by an electronics store with a lot of TVs in the window. And all of the screens showed the exact same thing: the girl waving at him, hearts above her head. Johnny was sure that he broke the sound barrier as he screamed.

I'm your biggest fan

_I'll follow you until you love me_

_Papa-paparazzi_

_Baby there's no other superstar_

_You know that I'll be_

_Your papa-paparazzi_

_Promise I'll be kind_

_But I won't stop until that boy is mine_

_Baby you'll be famous_

_Chase you down until you love me_

_Papa-paparazzi_

Whatever little sanity Johnny had left was quickly slipping away. Never, EVER in his life had he been so afraid of anyone-even the devil himself, as he was of this girl. As the doughboys and Nailbunny watched, he boarded up his door and windows, sweating bullets as he drove nail after nail into board after board. He started to reach for another board, only to have it handed to him personally. Turning around at once, Johnny was greeted with a smiling, dark-skinned, freckled, bespectacled face. Never, in the history of the world, had anyone ever run faster than Nny did at that moment. Bursting through the boards he had just so painstakingly put up, he ran out into the street, not stopping until he was halfway across town. Johnny breathed heavily, his mind still racing, when he suddenly heard a sound. Nny's head whipped around, but he saw, to his relief, that it was just a cat. The feline looked up at Johnny with bright yellow eyes and mewed. Johnny sighed in relief, and then was suddenly glomped from behind. He glared up at the girl as she just beamed back down at him.

Johnny bolted upright in bed. It took a few seconds for his brain to register the situation, and then he growled angrily.

"I fucking _hate_ sleep."


End file.
